


Welsh Lessons

by cwtchd



Category: Call the Midwife
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Humour, nursing home banter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-13
Updated: 2017-10-13
Packaged: 2019-01-17 00:55:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12354060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cwtchd/pseuds/cwtchd
Summary: Delia teaches Patsy how to swear in Welsh, turns out she's a natural. ONE SHOT.





	Welsh Lessons

 

It was a around half a year into their blossoming friendship when Patsy first brought up the topic. Delia wasn't prepared for the workout her stomach muscles were about to receive following the redhead's seemingly innocent opening line.

 

"Delia..." Patsy ventured.

 

"Yes Patsy?" Delia replied absentmindedly, still trying to find a suitable record for the Dansette they'd borrowed from Janine across the hall.

 

Patsy tugged at an invisible thread.

 

The small woman finally located a 45, carefully placing it on the turntable and positioning the needle in the groove. The tinny speakers began to hum and crackle before the warm tones of the Everly Brothers began wafting through the tiny bedroom. Satisfied with her choice, Delia joined Patsy on the small rickety bed, staring up and the tall woman expectantly.

 

"What it is?" she chided gently.

 

"The other day - you said something, in Welsh. I just wondered what it meant, that's all." Patsy shifted awkwardly.

 

Delia's eyes widened slightly. She had said multiple things in her mother tongue around Patsy, some directed to the tall nurse in question, some she dare not repeat in English. Aware a blush was creeping up her neck and inwardly cursing her pale skin for making it so obvious she tried her best inquisitive look.

 

"What did I say?" she asked cooly, getting up off the bed again to avoid eye contact with the blonde woman.

 

"Oh, I'm not sure." Patsy began "there was a lot of words, you said it quite fast."

 

"Well, what was the context? I might be able to remember." Delia internally kicked herself. She should've changed the subject. This was dangerous. She riffled hastily through some more singles, trying to calm her thumping heart that was threatening to burst from her chest at any moment.

 

Patsy looked thoughtfully at a spot on the wall. "It was after that incident with Mr Williams and the bedpan."

 

Delia's relief was made evident by the record skipping several seconds but she recovered quickly.

 

"Oh!" she gasped gleefully. The worry had disappeared and was replaced by two cheeky dimples.

 

Patsy raised an eyebrow as Delia returned to the spot on the bed she'd vacated.

 

Tucking her legs and crossing them underneath her she sat like a small schoolchild about to recount an over dramatic story.

 

"You mean when I said he was _fel rhech mewn pot jam_?"

 

"That was it! I knew there was something about jam in there." Patsy replied eagerly.

 

Delia laughed.

 

"Well, what does it mean?" Patsy asked impatiently.

 

"It means -" Delia caught her breath "he's useless."

 

"Sounds more complicated than that." 

 

"Well, the literal translation is, he's as useful as a fart in a jam jar." Delia's welsh lilt toppled over into more giggles.

 

Patsy's face split into a large grin.

 

"I picked that one up from nan when I was six. Mam hated her swearing in front of me."

 

"I thought the Welsh never swore?" she challenged.

 

"That is a terrible misconception and flawed stereotype." Delia smirked. "I could teach you some?"

 

Childlike daring filled Patsy's features as her eyes darted from the smaller woman to the door as if expecting to see matron standing there ready to punish them. Delia's cheekiness was infectious, something she'd missed out on in boarding school. Always goody two shoes Mount, never put a toe out of line, let alone swore. The whole situation was rather risqué and exciting.

 

"Okay." she smiled, biting her lip.

 

What could only be described as utter glee washed over Delia's face.

 

"I might be able to use some on a few rude patients on male surgical. There's more than enough of them to go around."

 

"A more than worthy cause!" Delia replied enthusiastically. "Right. Let's start simple. Repeat after me."

 

Patsy nodded. Her brow furrowing in concentration.

 

" _Drewgi_."

 

"Drew-guy?"

 

"No, no. Drew- _ghee_ " Delia repeated slowly.

 

"What does it mean?"

 

"Well, it literally translates to smelly dog, but I'd use it towards someone you don't find particularly agreeable."

 

Patsy nodded thoughtfully. "Drew-ghee, _Drewgi_. Okay I think I've got that one."

 

"Right, a follow on from the jam jar phrase I suppose could be d _im gwerth rhech dafad_."

 

"Which means?"

 

"Not worth a sheep's fart."

 

Patsy laughed. "What is it with Wales and toilet humour?"

 

Delia stared deadpan "C'mon Pats, when will toilet humour ever not be funny."

 

Patsy gasped for air slightly “Oh I'm not sure, maybe when you end up wearing the contents of Mr Williams' bed pan on your apron."

 

Delia's front was beginning to crack. "I still think toilet humour is _disgleirio fel ceilliau ci_ "

 

"What-?"

 

"As you'd probably more commonly hear it around here, the dog's boll-"

 

"Delia!" Patsy hushed. "We're not exactly alone here! What will people say if they hear us?"

 

Delia giggled. "I couldn't care less. Mam heard me once and called me a _diawl bach_ which means little devil."

 

"I can see why." Patsy snorted.

 

"Then one day when Da came in after the rugby, steaming drunk, she had a proper go at him. Apparently he'd gone round and snogged half the women in the village. Nan just sighed and said he was _fel ci a dau goc_ then mam sent me straight to bed before I could ask what it meant." Delia was now trying her best not to fall off the bed, she was shaking so much from laughter.

 

"Did you ever find out?" Patsy asked breathlessly.

 

Delia nodded, clutching at her stomach and wheezing.

 

"Well?"

 

"It means excited... but - but the literal translation is...like a dog with two willies." Delia collapsed onto the bed cackling with mirth, tears streaming down her face.

 

Patsy joined her and the two rolled around for a good few minutes before gasping for breath and clutching at sore tummies. Delia's eyes sparkled as she turned to face the taller woman.

 

"Oh gosh Delia, I don't think I've ever laughed so hard before." Patsy gasped.

 

Delia's smile dipped for a brief second. It hadn't been that funny. The company was what was making her laugh so much - hearing Patsy trying to repeat the Welsh words in her crisp RP accent. The blonde never alluded much to her past but Delia knew it hadn't been easy. The thought that this beautiful creature had never laughed like this before cut through Delia like an icy blade.

 

"What's wrong?" Patsy had picked up the change in atmosphere.

 

"Nothing." Delia replied hurriedly.

 

The record had stopped leaving the crackle and pop of static floating over the now silent room.

 

"Let's put on another one shall we? How about Billy Fury?" She was rambling. But it worked.

 

"Oh gosh, I can't stand Fury. He sounds like he's singing from the bottom of a well."

 

Delia shrugged. "Most of the girls find him really dishy." She could feel Patsy's eyes on her.

 

"Do you?" came a small voice.

 

Delia smiled to herself before turning to face the older woman. "He's a _coc oen_."

 

"Is that a good thing?"

 

Delia shrugged.

 

Patsy laughed. "Am I a _coc oen_?"

 

"No!" Delia exclaimed loudly. "You're most definitely not a _coc oen_."

 

Patsy giggled , reclining backwards onto the bed, her back resting against the thin wall of the nursing home.

 

Delia turned back to the records, muttering under her breath " _Rydych yn hardd_."

 

"Ridich in hard?" Patsy repeated from the other side of the room. "That sounds rude."

 

"It's not!" Delia responded quickly before immediately regretting it.

 

"Well, what does it mean?"

 

She smiled mysteriously and tapped the side of her nose. "That's for me to know Patience. Can't have you taking away all my juicy words now can we?"

 

Patsy pouted in defeat.

 

" _Cachu hwch_ Patsy! It's gone curfew!" Delia hissed as she suddenly noticed the time.

 

Patsy jumped from the bed. "Oh rats, just as I was beginning to enjoy myself."

 

Delia swore she saw the blonde wink at her.

 

"Thank you for the Welsh lesson tonight Deels, maybe we could try it again sometime."

 

"Of course! You're a natural."

 

Patsy bowed graciously.  "And now I'm equipped with a vast lexicon of phrases to use against my more unsavoury male patients, all thanks to you Busby." she whispered conspiratorially before making her way towards the door, opening it a crack and peaking out to check the coast was clear.

 

Delia muffled a giggle. "Night night Pats, see you tomorrow."

 

"Night Deels."

 

The door closed and Delia leaned up against it, letting out a deep long breath. Her chest was tight and her heart still pounding.

 

"Oh Pats." she whispered to herself. "Dwi wedi syrthio mewn cariad efo chdi."

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Been having a bit of writer's block for my main story so decided to go on a light tangent and develop an idea I've had floating around for a bit.
> 
> DISCLAIMER : I am not Welsh. I'm really sorry if any of this is inaccurate, I went by what I found online. If I'm wrong, please tell me and I'll correct any mistakes. :)
> 
>  
> 
> Full list of translations are as follows :
> 
> Fel rhech mewn pot jam - like a fart in a jam jar  
> Coc oen - lambs willy  
> Cachu hwch - pig’s poo (it’s all gone wrong)  
> Drewgi - smelly dog (insult)  
> Dim gwerth rhech dafad - not worth a sheep’s fart (worthless)  
> Disgleirio fel ceilliau ci - shining like a dog’s testicals (the dogs bollocks)  
> Fel ci a dau goc - like a dog with two willies (so excited you don’t know what to do with yourself)  
> Diawl bach - little devil  
> Rydych yn hardd – You’re beautiful  
> Dwi wedi syrthio mewn cariad efo chdi – I’ve fallen in love with you


End file.
